Our Day in a Cop Car

After a fairly dodgy sleep due to some very inconsiderate fellow travellers (not noisy drunk – no, they were noisy sleeping) and a long wait for the best showers E-V-A-H (long wait due to the same inconsiderate travellers who loved wasting water – or were anally hygienic?). I realised that our wonderfully perverted host may have placed a camera in the bathroom. But Smeh. Whats a dirty ol’ perv in comparison to a lovely hot shower?

After some messing around trying to back up our photos (which was wonderful intuition), me and Sonya headed off for the cop station. We’d been told that we had to go to the nearest station to where the incident ie. where the blatant robbery of my personal effects, took place. So, we headed back to the police station located within the bus station, but with a double mission: get a bus ticket the hell outta there and report poor ol’ Me’s blackberry stolen.

A very nice man at the info desk at the bus station wrote a lovely wee note to take to the Police – in Spanish of course:

“Me rubeum mi celula
En el Bus kinieda derde Salta
Alguren se sento jurito a mien el bus y lo saco de adentro del bolso yo estaba durmiendo
necento copsa denunda para me compania de seguros.”

Which translates to:

“A fat wanker stole my blackberry out of my lap when I was on the overnight bus from Salta.”

We handed over the note to the smoking lieutenant (no, not smoking hot – smoking enough nicotine for Sth America), who laughed heartedly (who knew he had it in him after all the nicotine) and told us to wait. So we did.

Meanwhile, they let out a handful of prisoners from the cell. Yes, apparently the very very small police station located within the bus station had a cell!. I’m guessing they were all in there for misdemeanours like drunk and disorderly and the like. But talk about timing! They all joined us on the bench seat outside the cop station and proceeded to re-lace shoes and belts. Yep…

After a good half an hour of waiting our boys in blue showed up and we were  asked to accompany them to yet another station. By this time me and Muppet were in hysterics and Sonya was attempting to take photos of us in the back of the cop car with its hard plastic seats and metal caging without us getting arrested. We did manage to get a few including a few very good ones whilst waiting outside the cop station.

The policeman were lovely, and one of them – Inspector Claudio, was definitely good enough to be arrested for. It’s quite obvious that we were already spilling out all the cliches and lowest common denominator jokes about being arrested by such a very good-looking policeman and it’s well known that we are both cheeky tarts so I needn’t bother telling you what we were saying to and about Inspector Claudio.

After the translation of my report, the boys in blue offered to drive us up the road – taking some liberties; we duped them into dropping us right over the other side of town. The last thing they said to us: “Be careful and don’t fall asleep…” Hmmm. You know whats going to happen don’t you?

After the events of the morning, it was time for food, and after a really disgusting sandwich, we headed off to discover Mendoza in the last few hours we had there. We ended up licking huge ice-creams and sitting at a big park in the middle of the city, more than happy to soak up the sun.

The birds twerped; the lunching workers chortled; lovers, well they loved and made us a little ill; and the beauties slept. Fast forward 10 minutes and the beauties stirred rubbing their sleepy eyes. In complete disbelief and incomprehension Sonya’s camera had been stolen.

There is no saying in plain language how devastated we were at that point. With grass still imprinted on our tired faces we took off for the nearest police station. Again.

Somewhere through the back-halls of a cultural museum we found the very wee police office, with three very polite and welcoming police officers. Sonya starts her her wee rant describing that her camera had just been stolen and I start pissing myself laughing. One of the cops just happened to be the very good-looking, very polite Inspector Claudio who was grinning and shaking his head at me. Sonya finally catches up on the joke…

So Claudio’s friend (I’m sorry, I don’t remember his name) picks us up. Again. We hop in the back of the cop car. Again. We go to yet another cop station. Again. We were both seriously ready to cry, but our boys in blue kept us cheery, told us to behave ourselves, be careful and not to fall asleep! Couple of hours later and Angry little Skye and poor Muppet Sonya (who in the same couple of hours managed to lose our hostel key and thereby our 20 peso deposit) left bloody Mendoza for what we hoped were brighter times in Buenos Aires.

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